My Response- Crack

"I sense a disturbance in the Force," Vengeance muttered, balling handless vacant gloves and voice lowering in fueling anger, "and it would appear that I have been deceived."

The faceless wraith lifted the mouse once more with the ascribed mystical energy field to refresh the page and confirm the madness; the light hazel-yellow eyed human soldier beside him snatched it away, higher but still basso voice rumbling back. "I realize."

The writer and the Sith stared, one with wide eyes, the other with none. "Well," Darth finally managed, "this changes a few things. For starters, that 'saving me from being abducted by aliens' joke is nowhere near as funny- 'she' becoming 'he' appears to have doubled the height and girth. Now it just makes sense."

He twitched as he sucked at his sweet caffeine, face twisting anyway, and clenched his fist around the large purple mug. "I'm not fond of sensibility."

"You wouldn't be," replied the Dark Lord, and slowly waved a hand. The apparition slowly vanished into thin air as the soldier brooded. On the screen showed his internet-adopted sister, Rose, ripping off what the image called her 'female disguise'. Or rather his, it would appear. The bespectacled young man was still black haired, but was now a strongly built athletic young man, one confirming this with an assumably bass or baritone voice enunciating proudly amid (what were apparently) magical sparkles.

"Yes, I am a man," Rose purred.

Darth snorted.

"Well, that changes some things, eh, C?"

The Vampire shrugged. "Not really. Still bi."

"Didn't you die?" the occasionally-and-or-constantly forgetful writer asked, sipping again. She shook her head at him, then curled in a standing position of parade rest. She managed to make it more comfortable than he'd ever managed to in life.

"You set up a story with help from Topios where I largely saved myself. Then Mnemonides used Bellatrix to subtly save me at home before the Book of Stories ever kidnapped me," C reminded. She tapped her heel. "Why are you lurking in the dark again?"

"I'm trying to sleep," Darth groaned, "I just wanted to see if Mnem said anything fast, and then I'm flopping back to bed."

"Tell the Muse when you get there I said hi," C winked.

"Wha...?" the sleepy man slowly working at the tea asked, the shock of Rose's revelation slowly wearing off.

"Oh, you don't remember? Connya went, 'You're the one that's Muse's love', when you said that she wrote better than you. You replied 'No, I'm just her whore, she uses me fast and messily and then she's gone. Lots of crumpled stories, little product.' And then she laughed at you and went, 'Nooo, you're her wife then, I'm just the Mistress. She pops up every so often for me and then she's gone. She stays with you.' And then YOU went, "I'm a guy! I shouldn't be a wife- I'm certainly not wearing that dress or the heels! ... Oh, THAT'S why the Muse called it mind rape," and then Connya laughed and grinned again, and then you said no one had better find out or draw it, and then you bantered again," the Vampire sing-sang.

Darth dropped the mug, mortified.

C grinned and chortled. "And of course, if you're going to bed, you might as well see her there~"

"Why would you do that? You know I'm with Kim," Darth growled, "And-"

"And I kept winding up in romance stories. I'm not supposed to, remember? I think Rose's masculinity is the least of your worries come a little while," C purred. "Sleep well."

Oblivion did not come easily.